Reports of an ammonia leak at the San Antonio Produce Terminal Market forced workers to be evacuated Sunday.Fortunately, nearby was the San Antonio Hygiene Market from which a large supply of Depends™ undergarments were secured. The leak was held at bay for 12 hours before a large enough public men's room could be found.
Sadly, for the artist, the complaining construction worker wasn't offended from any repressive sense of indecency from the painting. It turns out he has a degree in Film History from NYU, and spotted the naked crucifixion as an obvious rip off of "Drunken Master II." Jackie Chan-like out-takes from the New Testament were also included in the complaint description, but did the media pick up on any of that? Nooo.Nude Jesus In Airport Mural Draws Complaints
An artist has painted a loincloth over a nude figure of the crucified Jesus in a mural at a new building at Kennedy International Airport after complaints from construction workers.
It's all fun and games until some wicked witch somewhere begins to scream, "I'm melting!"'Water Bomb' Defendants Face Evaluations
The teens are accused of making the water-and-dry ice bombs that either detonated or were dismantled on Friday at Santa Fe High School.... prosecutors hadn't decided whether to charge them as children or as adults.
Apparently California is a state made up of people who were a little bit too happy as children showing up at school wearing Velcro™ shoes.Bay Area Hung Up On Clotheslines
While many fondly remember hanging clothes outside as children, and lines are still plentiful behind row houses in San Francisco's sun-challenged Richmond and Sunset districts, Monson said few of California's estimated 35,000 homeowners associations allow them. "When you see (clothes drying) you think of slums. You think of low-class areas. You think of poverty..."
If I ran Dominoes,™ you can bet your ass that, with a little extra broccoli, America would be phoning-in to order the "Million Dad Pizza."Another Million Mom March Coming Next Month
On the bright side, this guy just won this year's "Get A Bitterly Ironic E-mail From Al Gore Telling You To 'Get It From Pat Buchanan.'"President's Legal Team Waiting To Be Paid
Barry Richard, the silver-tongued, silver-maned barrister who served on George W. Bush's successful team of lawyers in Florida's presidential election recount, is still waiting to be paid his fee.
I take this as a sign that some people can't handle the rodeo off-season as well as others.Rabid Raccoon Bites Man Who Caught It In Bethlehem
Stout said he chased the raccoon around the neighborhood, grabbing it several times, and getting bit each time.
A serial-rape suspect was arrested Monday in Jefferson Parish after returning to the scene of an alleged crime to retrieve his [apartment] keys, police said.As if there isn't enough impotent rage going on in a rape without wondering, "Did I remember to lock the front door? Did I forget to turn off the iron?"
If huffing ever becomes an official Kodak moment, I think we've all found a town where they can pick up an easy dozen buyers.Teens Tape Themselves Committing Crimes
Police say that the teens videotaped themselves as they broke into homes, stole cars and alcohol and even sniffed solvents.
The sad part: That $400 she spent previously in that store? More ham.Woman Behind Bars After Ham Incident
Police said a store was giving away a ham to people who spent over $50. The woman spent just $48, but the store manager agreed to give her a free ham anyway. That apparently wasn't enough. The store said she demanded several more free hams, claiming she had spent $400 earlier in the month. At that point, the manager asked her to leave.Instead, investigators said she rammed the manager with a grocery cart. A second employee was struck as he and the manager wrestled the shopper to the floor. A police officer sprained a finger trying to arrest her.
In December, Jonas Swartzentruber spent three days in jail after being cited for not having a triangle on his buggy. Since then, 10 other members of [his Amish] sect have been cited, and all say they would rather go to jail than pay the $100 fine or perform community service.... Pennsylvania law requires all slow-moving vehicles, including Amish buggies and farm equipment, to display the familiar triangle reflectors as a warning to drivers coming from behind.The Amish are doubly confusing at night when they try to scare off other drivers by turning their buggies around and hissing at their headlights.
Have you ever heard of baby-steps? How do you plan to champion ethnic purity when you can't even champion highway litter clean-up?KKK Loses Adopted Highway
A [Missouri] state spokesman said that the group failed to pick up trash along Interstate 55 and did not respond to a written notice.
Accused spy Robert Hanssen allegedly brought a stripper to religious services at his suburban Virginia church and spent at least $10,000 on a car for her in what authorities believe was a proselytizing effort...What's wrong with you? Money isn't your problem. You need to grab a handful of those little dollar bill-sized religious comic books and just slip them into a g-string here and there. Throwing money at someone to lure them to your church is just insulting.
In Washington, U.S. President George W. Bush called on the Chinese government to "do the right thing" and release the plane and its crew as soon as possible saying the growing dispute threatens to damage Sino-U.S. relations.You may laugh at the President's incompetence, but what most American's don't know is that the "It's the right thing to do" advertising campaign has made hot breakfast cereal a huge success in China. When they start rolling out the photos of George Bush shaking hands with Wilford Brimley, one billion Chinese are going to be climbing over each other to return the US spy plane that couldn't, you know, avoid a mid-air collision.
What? A four hundred dollar phone bill and you don't even get to talk to one scantily-clad nympho-maniac housewife? Come on! Come ON!Famous Voice Used In Telephone Scam
The scam uses a voice that sounds like [Robin] Leach to convince callers that they have won a free vacation or other expensive gift... In order to qualify for the free vacation or gift, you will be asked to provide your social security and credit card numbers... if you appear unwilling or unprepared to give that information, the caller will instruct you to call him back at a specific number for the complete details.The problem is that when you return the call, you could unknowingly be routed to phone numbers in Afghanistan or, even further away, Australia.
Opening arguments are expected early this week in the trial of two therapists accused of reckless child abuse in the death of a ten-year-old girl. Candace Newmaker died last year after a so-called "rebirthing" session meant to make her bond with her adoptive mother.Was the adoptive mother required to go through "relabor" to bond better with the daughter? If you want to bond with me by deliberately suffocating me in blankets, I would think the least you could do is pass a bowling ball through your birth canal.