How Not To Fly (about)

Ballet Dancer Escape Attempt Foiled

...the prisoner [former Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre dancer Ganzorig Buyantogtokh] managed to obtain a small pair of scissors from inside the ambulance and attempted to escape by grabbing the female officer from the rear and placing the scissors near her eye. In an attempt to disarm the prisoner, Lightfoot said that a scuffle ensued between the officers and the prisoner. The prisoner had to be treated for minor injuries.

Examiner Publisher Fired From Newspaper / Ted Fang's Mother Ousts Him, Takes Control

Florence Fang, matriarch of San Francisco's politically powerful Fang family and chairman of its newspaper chain, yesterday fired her son, Ted, as editor and publisher of the San Francisco Examiner, which has been buffeted by financial problems and family infighting.

Man Says He Didn't Steal Viagra In Exchange For Sex

[Cleveland, OH] A 72-year-old pharmacist accused of stealing Viagra for a co-worker in exchange for sex says that he's innocent.

French Teen Leads Bin Laden Cheer

[Strasbourg] A French teen-ager was placed under investigation after he allegedly organized a demonstration at his junior high school where students called out "Long live bin Laden," judicial officials said Friday. A juvenile court judge in Strasbourg placed the 15-year-old under formal investigation -- one step short of being charged -- on Thursday for "justifying acts of terrorism," the officials said.

Man Jailed Following 'Easiest Drug Bust'

Schalburg said Lajoye, of Indianapolis, allegedly told the officer that if he came across a large amount of cocaine during a traffic stop or in the police evidence room to get some of it, and that Lajoye could sell it out of state.... "This guy pulls up, gets in the police car, gives our officer a couple hundred bucks for the coke and tells him he will pay the rest when he gets done selling it," Schalburg said. "He said, Thanks, hopped out of the officer's car and, needless to say, was arrested."

Anti-Gay Bomb Slur Wrong, Navy Says

A news photograph of a plane on the USS Enterprise aircraft carrier last week showed one bomb with the message, "High Jack This," followed by an anti-gay slur....

"We immediately notified Navy commanders involved with Operation Enduring Freedom to ensure steps were taken to prevent a recurrence of this unfortunate incident. They have done so," [Rear Adm] Pietropaoli wrote.

Locksmith Charged With Gluing Restaurants' Locks

[Kansas City, MO] A locksmith is accused of pouring glue into two locks at businesses where he was later called to fix them.

...Zwillenberg took a look at the surveillance tape and apparently saw the same man who came to fix the lock squirting something into it just hours earlier.

Fisherman Accused Of Fishy Story / Bass Contest Winner Stripped Of Title

[Rio Vista, CA] "It's upsetting, especially when you're not a cheater or liar," Storm said yesterday.

...with a $19,000 Klamath GTX fishing boat along with a 50-horsepower Mercury outboard and an E-Z Loader trailer at stake, officials decided that the winning fisherman would have to pass a polygraph. "This year we decided to get really serious," Rubiaco said. "With the value of the boat, we had decided in advance that we were going to use it no matter what."

VMI Student's Expulsion Causes A Furor

Joyce was a leader in one of the most contentious student protests at [Virginia Military Institute] in years. It centered on the rat line, the school's traditional physical and mental training regimen for freshmen. School officials accused several seniors last month of pushing freshmen too hard, causing numerous injuries and resignations. A few seniors were suspended or dismissed. But cadet leaders complained that the punishments were too harsh and that the administration had usurped students' treasured self-governance.

Susan Jean Rostorfer, the mother of a sophomore from Ohio, said that cadets take pride in a culture that allows them to run the rat line and the honor system but that the administration turned it into "a sham."

Looking For Romance Online Gives Most Of Us The Jitters

One in five people in the Charlotte [NC] area now know someone who met a date online.

Geology May Give Bin Laden Away

Geologists are examining rocks visible in a recent videotape of Osama bin Laden, in hopes of shedding light on his whereabouts. In theory, by identifying the rock types, they might provide new clues to bin Laden's movements. But so far they disagree in their interpretations of the videotape. That's partly because of uncertainty about the rocks' color and distance from the camera.

Hitler Was Gay, Says German Historian

[Frankfurt, Germany] Machtan concedes there is no irrefutable proof Hitler was gay or acted on any homosexual urges. But he argues in the book that Hitler led a gay lifestyle in his early days in Vienna and Munich and had a number of homosexual friendships in the 1920s.

Terrified Tabloid Workers Tested For Anthrax

[Delray Beach, FL] For the second time since terrorists struck the United States, an employee with a chain of Boca Raton tabloids showed signs of the extremely rare anthrax bacteria.

City Sets Up Drive-In Brothels [Cologne, Germany]

Mold, Not Body Part, Found In Punch [Commerce City, CO]