How Not To Fly (about)

Black History Left Off Library Schedule

D.C. librarians are furious with a decision not to recognize Martin Luther King and other black historical figures in the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Library's public art galleries during February, which is National Black History Month. Staffers said exhibit coordinator Elena Tscherny, who scheduled no exhibits of black history or culture, told them the library's policy is not to give special consideration to race in scheduling exhibits.

GAO To Sue White House

[Washington, DC] "The president will stand on principle and for the right of presidents and this president to receive candid advice without it being turned into a news release," said White House spokesman Ari Fleischer....

[Northwest utilities consultant Robert] McCullough said "the clear implication is that Enron may have been using its market dominance to set forward prices."

Pope Tells Lawyers To Boycott Divorce

[John Paul II] said divorce was "spreading like a plague" through society, and lawyers should refuse to be part of the "evil."

Inmate Sues After His Beating Over Breakfast

[Muncie, IN] Kevin Tillinghast, 20, has filed a lawsuit against [Delaware County's] commissioners, council, police department and sheriff. He said he has lost sight in his left eye as a result of the January 2000 beating in the county jail that stemmed from a card game... Tillinghast said in the lawsuit that he tried to collect his breakfast winnings from another prisoner, who then beat and kicked him for several minutes.

Bus Driver Faces Kidnapping Charges

The missing Berks County, Pa., school bus with 13 students on it was found Thursday afternoon in Maryland, more than 140 miles away from the private school where it had been expected that morning.

Police said that when the bus stopped at a gas station near the intersection of Interstate 95 and 495 in Prince George's County, Md., students waved their arms to attract the attention of an off-duty police officer. "The children were waving out the window. An off-duty police officer approached the bus and took him into custody," said Trooper Ray Albert, State Police.

Newton Man Could Not Stop Smoking In Custody

[Newton, MA] ...an officer watching a television monitor saw Hall defecate on his jail cell floor. Within a couple of minutes, Hall was smoking a fourth cigarette, police said. Officers went to the jail cell and found Hall covered in excrement, puffing on his cigarette... a bench Hall had been sitting on was covered in blood, and it was clear his rectum had been injured.

'Girls Gone Wild' Flasher Sues Video Producer

[New Orleans, LA] She admits that she displayed her breasts in public at Mardi Gras, but a Florida woman said she never intended to show up on a video that's being sold on TV -- or on an Internet site. Becky Lynn Gritzke is a business major at Florida State University. In her lawsuit, she admitted that she was among the women on the streets and balconies of the French Quarter last year who removed their tops in exchange for beads and trinkets.

Egyptian Jailed For Marrying Too Many Wives

[Cairo, Egypt] They said Sayed Ragab al-Sawirki, owner of a chain of shops selling clothes and domestic appliances, was sentenced on Tuesday along with six others who played a role in Sawirki's marital affairs. The investigation showed that Sawirki had five wives at once...

Egyptian marriage humor:
"Sayed Ragab al-Sawirki, it's a shame that it's illegal for Egyptian men to have more than four wives. How did marriage to five women fit you?"
"Like a glove!"
"Har Har Har!"

7 Teens Arrested For 'Cereal' Burglaries

[Pittsburgh, PA] Police said the boys, who are between the ages of 14 and 17, took about $30,000 worth of items they could pawn on the street. Officials said they even sat down at the victims' kitchen tables and ate a bowl of cereal from time to time....

The suspects were being held in Shuman Juvenile Detention Center on felony charges of burglary, receiving stolen property, theft and conspiracy.

One Shy Of A Bunch

On the 2002 Brady Bunch wall calendar the original characters from the sitcom are all present and accounted for, in their eternal circa-1972 states of being, except for [Robert Reed.] In 1969 Reed auditioned for starring roles in three different series pilots, one of which he was particularly loath to do, because he considered himself a serious actor and it was a cutesy sitcom about a family. He beat out studio choice Gene Hackman for the role of Mike Brady on "The Brady Bunch." But was he happy?

Punxsutawney Phil A Terrorist Target?

[Punxsutawney, PA] When Punxsutawney Phil pops his head out of his hole on February 2 to tell people whether or not they will experience six more weeks of winter, the famous groundhog may see more than his shadow. Because of the September 11 terrorist attacks, security will be stepped up at Phil's home, Gobbler's Knob.

Dog-maul Prosecutor Raises Sex Questions

[San Francisco] Attorneys in the case of a San Francisco couple accused in the dog-mauling death of their neighbor fought yesterday over whether a jury should hear what prosecutors called evidence of "inappropriate" sexual conduct that "blurred the boundaries between dog and human...."

The prosecutor gave no specifics, citing only sealed documents as the basis of his assertion as well as Knoller's grand jury testimony suggesting that one of the dogs, Bane, was sexually drawn to Whipple. He said Knoller herself had brought sex into the case with that suggestion.

Zoo Baffled By Shark 'Virgin Birth'

[Omaha, NE] The shark was born in a tank that only contained females, leaving zoo officials scratching their heads as to how one of them became pregnant.... The offspring died within five hours of birth.

Staff Moves Book From Children's Section To Adult Collection

[Springdale, AR] Responding to a parent's complaint, members of the staff of the Springdale Public Library have moved [A Kid's First Book About Sex] from the children's section to the adult collection.... Crosswhite requested that the book either be moved to the adult collection in the library or "put in the trash."

Catholic Group Calls Art Exhibit Offensive / Figurines Of Pope, Nuns Defecating A Catalan Tradition

[Napa, CA] The practice of putting defecating people in Nativity scenes is a popular, and centuries-old, tradition in Spain's Catalonia region, where Miralda is a heralded artist....

But Copia exhibit detractors, the most prominent of which is Donohue's New York-based [Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights], say it is sacrilege.... "To show his appreciation of Mother Earth, Miralda had to show the pope and nuns defecating. But why couldn't he have chosen the Lone Ranger and Tonto instead? Or better yet, just Tonto and a few of his Indian buddies?'

CNN Yanks 'Sexy' Paula Zahn Ad

[New York City] The ad contains the clearly audible sound of a zipper just as the narrator is about to call Zahn "sexy." The network said the ad was put on the air by its promotions department and was not approved by top executives. A spokesman said the head of CNN's parent company ordered it removed from the air as soon as he saw it.

Man Kills Self While Playing With Gun At Party

[Delmont, PA] Salensky pointed the gun at a wall and pulled the trigger at least twice, but nothing happened... When he pointed the gun at his head and pulled the trigger, the gun fired.... [Friends] urged him to put the gun down.

Planned Brothel Name Is No Longer An Issue

Indian leaders have convinced developers of the proposed Crazy Horse Resort & Spa brothel in Storey County [NV] to not name it after the heroic 19th-century Oglala Sioux chief, officials said.... [Crazy Horse] helped command the successful Sioux attack on Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer's forces at the Battle of Little Bighorn in 1876.