How Not To Fly (about)

Bush Gets Tangled In Row Over Iraq Victory Banner

Mr Bush has been drawn into a dispute with the US Navy over who was responsible for a giant banner reading "Mission Accomplished" that hung behind him as he spoke on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln on May 1.... On Tuesday, Mr Bush told reporters at the White House that the banner had been put up by the navy -- not by his own staff....

However, Mr Bush's spokesman, Scott McClellan, later conceded that the banner was actually made and supplied by the White House. "We took care of the production of it," he said. "We have people to do those things. But the navy actually put it up."

40% Of Women With Breast Implants Want Them Out

Half reported having one additional breast-implant related surgery; 23% had two; 28% had three or more.

...40%, had their implants permanently removed. "It's an astonishingly high number," Dr. Tweed says.

Last Concorde Flights Touch Down

Three Concordes have touched down in London in a spectacular finale to the era of supersonic travel....

The plane, with its pointed nose -- and £8,000 ($11,000) a seat price tag -- was the choice of celebrities and businessmen, before ordinary passengers were given the opportunity of claiming a ride during its last months.

Woman Sues Ex-Beau Over Painful Kiss

[Milford, CT] The Connecticut woman charges her ex bit her on the lip while they were smooching. Her lawsuit charges that Peter Carli caused "pain and suffering, scarring and losses...."

To add insult to injury, Chrucky says Carli never paid her medical bills as he promised. She says they had a written agreement for her ex to pay three grand to cover costs related to the lip-lock injury.

Looks like someone's been taking dating tips from TV's "Cave Troll Eye for the Straight Guy":

Blaine Walks Free From Box

Illusionist David Blaine walked free from his [clear plastic] box in London on Sunday, after completing his 44-day starvation stunt.... After his release, Blaine -- who had nothing but water during his stunt -- was put on a stretcher by paramedics and taken to a private hospital.

Papers Duped By U.S. Soldier Form Letters

The Pentagon is chastising an Army battalion that sent out letters that were portrayed as being from soldiers.

In the past month, newspapers across the country have received letters signed by U.S. soldiers with overwhelmingly positive descriptions of their work in Iraq. It turns out they were form letters written by the command staff of an Army battalion in Kirkuk, then signed by the soldiers.... The letters come at a time when the Bush administration has been criticized for the way it's been handling the war.

New Products Let You Have Hooters At Home

[Clearwater, FL] Hooters will start selling its buffalo wings and chicken strips in supermarkets next month. The Hooters chain is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. Officials of the Clearwater-based company feel there's plenty of room for growth in the home-foods market.

Rush Tells Listeners He's An Addict

The disclosure came a week after The National Enquirer published an interview with Limbaugh's former maid, Wilma Cline, who said he dispatched her to buy such black-market pills as hydrocodone and OxyContin, an opiate derivative frequently prescribed for chronic pain and peddled illegally as "hillbilly heroin...." Unnamed law enforcement sources told the Associated Press that Limbaugh is under investigation by the Palm Beach County, Fla., state attorney's office.

Limbaugh routinely condemns drug abusers and said in 1995 that "too many whites are getting away with drug use. The answer is to find (them), convict them, and send them up the river...." Hefty doses of hydrocodone can cause severe hearing loss, focusing suspicion on the sudden deafness Limbaugh experienced two years ago. Hearing was partially restored by an electronic ear implant.

Suspected Genital Thief Beaten To Death

[Banjul, Gambia] A 28-year-old man accused of stealing a man's penis through sorcery was beaten to death in the West African country of Gambia on Thursday, police said.... Belief in sorcery is widespread in West Africa.

West Texas Probationers Accused Of Using Prosthesis

[Lubbock, TX] Some West Texas men on probation are in trouble again, this time for allegedly using the Whizzinator to help them pass court-ordered urinalysis tests.... One was caught by an alert officer who heard something unusual in the restroom. "A body part when it's up against a plastic cup isn't going to go 'clink...'"

Company owner Dennis Catalano has sold the device and one designed for women for about four years, mainly through an Internet site. He said what he does is legal. "How people choose to use it is beyond our control," he said.

Man Robs Bank While Dressed In Woman's Clothes

[Riverside, MO] The robbery happened at Park Bank at Vivion Road and Gateway Avenue. The robber tapped a gun on the counter and demanded cash. No one was hurt.

The thief escaped in a blue minivan. Police and FBI are investigating.

Protests Over Pay Continue In Iraq

When Saddam's army was disbanded in May, the U.S.-led Coalition Provisional Authority decided to make a one-time stipend of $40 to the estimated 440,000 conscripts in the former military.... Hundreds of men claiming to be former soldiers have gathered in Baghdad and Basra... over the past two days, angrily claiming they have not been paid. The weekend clashes left three rioters dead and dozens injured in the two cities. Coalition officials said two U.S. soldiers were injured.

Gray Skies For Davis

The poll found 54 percent of Californians support the recall, with 41 percent opposed and 5 percent undecided. That is a margin slightly closer than that of three other recent polls, all of which were conducted before potentially damaging allegations about Schwarzenegger's past behavior became a campaign issue....

[The LA Times] renewed allegations that Schwarzenegger has groped or sexually humiliated at least 11 women, some as recently as 2000. An additional controversy centers around alleged comments Schwarzenegger made in the 1970s conditionally praising [Adolf] Hitler.

Limbaugh Resigns Over McNabb Comments

[Rush] Limbaugh said on Thursday he stepped down late Wednesday from the show "Sunday NFL Countdown" to protect [ESPN] from the uproar caused by his statement that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed.

Bush: 'I Want To Know The Truth' About Leak

Declaring "there are too many leaks of classified information in Washington," President Bush pledged Tuesday to "get to the bottom" of allegations that his underlings improperly supplied Sun-Times columnist Robert Novak with [the identity of a CIA agent] designed to discredit [her husband] a presidential critic....

But the president brushed aside suggestions an independent investigation was needed, and said he has confidence the U.S. Justice Department can handle the investigation. "We'll get to the bottom of this and move on..."

[Ambassador Joseph] Wilson called the purchase [of uranium by Iraq] "highly unlikely" [in 2002] and later went public with his findings, undermining a claim Bush made in his State of the Union speech.

Not many people know George W Bush auditioned to perform in Cape Fear: