| [Jiang Zemin kissed by Kim Jong Il] "Kim, your affection has caught me off guard -- is this a plot to lure homosexual labor from decadent capitalist countries?" |  |
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"That's right, Jiang -- now kiss me on the lips, big boy! Don't you just love what I've done to my hair?" | |
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news? tmpl=story2 &u=/040429/ photos_ts/ mdf552124&e=8
| Restaurants now serving snails to miniature Frenchmen |
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| [tomato bathers] | "You best start believing in tomato stories Miss Turner -- you're in one." |
The decapitated horse's head in your bed was sponsored by the number snake eyes, and the letters F and U.From 'Sesame's' Gina To 'Sopranos' Con
"When I brought her in the room I don't think anyone realized what she had been doing prior to that," [Sopranos casting director Georgianne Walken] said. "We're adults and we don't watch ('Sesame Street') anymore."...seeing Gina in a clinch with [Steve] Buscemi's character may be tough for those Muppets to take.
The story of the world's first virgin-birth mouse will be adapted into the upcoming "Passion of the Mickey."Scientists Have Created Mice Without Using Sperm
The two-nation team, comprising [Seoul National University professor] Seo and Tomihiro Kono of Tokyo University of Agriculture along with other colleagues, combined the genetically-modified nucleus of one mouse egg with that of another.
Senator's Wife Allegedly Beats Woman Over Mulch Dispute
[Washington, DC] It seems Wanda Baucus, wife of Montana Democrat Max Baucus, was upset Tuesday over not getting help loading the mulch into her car, while another woman was being assisted.Witnesses told police Wanda Baucus put a bag of mulch behind the woman's car, preventing her from leaving the store. Then came an exchange of words before Mrs. Baucus allegedly struck the woman several times in the face and body.
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What's newsworthy is that the wife of a Democratic politician has been booked for assault, and she isn't even married to Bill Clinton. |
Strangely enough, Sissy Spacek and Naomi Watts have also signed on to perform in the Mother Teresa biography, "Caring."A Nice 'Ring': Spacek Joins DW's Sequel
Sissy Spacek is returning to the horror genre -- where she enjoyed one of her earliest successes as the telekinetic heroine of 1976's "Carrie" -- as she steps into "The Ring 2" for DreamWorks...It's unclear exactly who she will play in the ongoing tale of a mysterious videotape that proves fatal to viewers because the script is being closely guarded; sources close to the film said the filmmakers want to keep a level of mystery around Spacek's character.
Saddest of all may be that Gallagher hands out more ponchos to an audience watching him smash fruit than Spain sent troops to Iraq.Spanish Troops Ordered To Quit Iraq
[Madrid, Spain] Mr Zapatero's Socialist party -- which had pledged to withdraw the 1,300 Spanish troops in Iraq if elected -- pulled off a surprise victory in the general election on March 14.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ news/main.jhtml? xml=/news/ 2004/04/19/ wspain19.xml
Photo May Land La. Marine In Trouble
In the photo, Boudreaux is shown with two Iraqi boys. All three are smiling, and all three are flashing a "thumbs-up" sign. The middle boy is holding a handmade cardboard sign that reads in English, "Lcpl. Boudreaux killed my dad then he knocked up my sister...."His commander during the 3/23rd's Iraq mission, Lt. Col. David Couvillon, called the photo a sophomoric attempt at humor....
"My assumption has always been these things didn't happen, and in fact I doubt there's any girl at all..."
And the hilarity didn't stop with one photo:
http://www.nola.com/ news/t-p/index.ssf? /base/news-0/ 1082042718100900.xml
Mary-Kate and Ashley must be looking pretty good to John right about now.Stamos, Romijn-Stamos Have Separated
[Los Angeles, CA] Stamos, 40, and Romijn, 31, met in 1994 at a Victoria's Secret fashion show and began dating two months later. They married in September 1998.The actress appeared in "X-Men," "X2: X-Men United," "Femme Fatale" and "Rollerball." Her upcoming films include "The Punisher" and "Godsend."
Stamos, best-known for his role as Jesse in the TV sitcom "Full House" from 1987 to 1995, played John Sears in last year's cable TV movie "The Reagans." In recent years, he's played on the Broadway stage.
Test Indicates Neil Bush Not Child's Father
DNA test results showed Thursday that Neil Bush, a brother of President Bush, did not father a child by a woman who was married to another man.
![[George W Bush]](../images/gwb.jpg) |
"It's about time my family's inability to pass tests started to count for something!" |
Administration Wages War On Pornography
In this [Justice Dept] field office in Washington, 32 prosecutors, investigators and a handful of FBI agents are spending millions of dollars to bring anti-obscenity cases to courthouses across the country for the first time in 10 years....Department officials say they will send "ripples" through an industry that has proliferated on the Internet and grown into an estimated $10 billion-a-year colossus profiting Fortune 500 corporations such as Comcast, which offers hard-core movies on a pay-per-view channel....
In a speech in 2002, Ashcroft... said pornography "invades our homes persistently though the mail, phone, VCR, cable TV and the Internet..."
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"Yes, America is plagued by porn you can't keep out of your telephone and VCR. You know, like hookers you can't keep out of your hotel rooms -- where the fuck have you people been?" |
http://www.baltimoresun.com/ news/ bal-te.obscenity06apr06, 0,3004361.story
On the bright side, 40 million surplus bachelors represent a huge potential audience for Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman." However, the ending of the play -- with Willy Loman, the only married male character, defeated and killed in a traffic accident -- is too implausible for Chinese audiences. Loman will instead get stabbed by a gang of kids propositioning his wife on their way to the school prom.China Fears Bachelor Future
Starting in 1980, the Chinese government limited each family to one child to try to avert a population explosion.... Baby girls are often aborted to give parents another chance at having a boy. It is illegal, but that does not make any difference....[An anonymous pediatrician] estimates that 70% of the newborns in her hospital are male. And statistics indicate that as many as two million extra boys are born every year nationwide. These are men who will not find wives...
She may ache just like a woman, but she "yuhhh"s, just like a 62-year-old Jewish guy from Minnesota.Dylan's Lingerie Ad Sparks Controversy / Grizzled Singer Appears In Series Of Commercials
Bob Dylan appears in a new series of commercials for Victoria's Secret, his grizzled face intercut with shots of model Adriana Lima cavorting though Venice in a bra, panties and spike heels...."It's weird," said New York disc jockey Dennis Elsas, who's played Dylan music for three decades. "I would be hesitant to say it's awful or wonderful. It's just strange."
Bush To Sign Fetus-Protection Bill
The measure Bush was signing into law on Thursday is limited in scope, applying only to harm to a fetus while a federal crime, such as a terrorist attack or drug-related shooting, is being committed against the pregnant mother. The legislation defines an "unborn child" as a child in utero, which it says "means a member of the species homo sapiens, at any stage of development, who is carried in the womb."
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"Why, heck, the only opportunity the government will take to step in and protect some women may be inside the womb. You ever think of that, you macho bastards?" |