How Not To Fly (about)

Presidential Debate

John Kerry: Unfortunately, [Osama bin Laden] escaped in the mountains of Tora Bora. We had him surrounded. But we didn't use American forces, the best trained in the world, to go kill him. The president relied on Afghan warlords and he outsourced that job too. That's wrong.

Pittsburgh TV Station Nixes Sexy 'Sausage' Ad

Fox Sports Net Pittsburgh has decided not to run a racy advertisement that's aimed at Pirates and Steelers fans and argues that eating meat can cause impotence....

"The ad features a pair of scantily clad women who try to seduce the pizza man but discover that he can't deliver 'the sausage.' Things pick up when they test the prowess of a vegetarian delivery boy," according to the release. "PETA's message is that eating meat can cause impotence by clogging the arteries to all the body's vital organs, not just the heart."

Study Finds Dogs Can Smell Cancer

The idea that they may be able to smell cancer was first put forward in 1989 by two London dermatologists, who described the case of a woman asking for a mole to be cut out of her leg because her dog would constantly sniff at it, even through her trousers, but ignore all her other moles.

One day, the dog had tried to bite the mole off when the woman was wearing shorts. It turned out she had malignant melanoma -- a deadly form of skin cancer.

Trump Debt Restructuring Deal Unravels

[Atlantic City] A deal to save Donald Trump's failing casino companies fell apart late last night.... While Trump has capitalized on the popularity of his television show, "The Apprentice," making "You're Fired!" a national catchphrase, his casino company has been a black mark on his business empire....

Restructuring its $1.8 billion worth of debt is crucial to Trump Resorts' survival. Its $220 million annual interest payments have been a huge drain on the company, which has never had a profitable year.

Protests Surround Muskegon County Terrorist Drill Casting

Homeschoolers across the country are protesting a west Michigan county's decision to stage a mock terrorist attack by a fictitious group of homeschooling advocates dubbed "Wackos Against Schools and Education...."

"Homeschoolers have never been accused of violence against any school," [Home School Legal Defense Association senior counsel Chris] Klicka told The Muskegon Chronicle.

Cat Stevens Held After D.C. Flight Diverted

U.S. security officials yesterday diverted a Washington-bound United Airlines flight and detained Yusuf Islam, formerly known as the pop singer Cat Stevens, after discovering that he had been allowed to board the plane in London even though he was on the government's no-fly list....

Islam recorded 12 albums before abandoning his singing career in the late 1980s after he converted to Islam. He drew criticism in the late 1980s after he publicly supported Ayatollah Khomeini's death edict against author Salman Rushdie. After the terrorist attacks in 2001, Islam said he would donate profits from his CD box set to families of the victims of the attacks.

Military Judge Recommends Court-Martial For England

[Fort Bragg, NC] A military judge has recommended a court-martial for Pfc. Lynndie England in the Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal, but said the young Army reservist [21] was "easily led" and had been "heavily influenced" by an ex-boyfriend who is also charged in the case....

[Col] Arn specifically mentioned co-defendant Spc. Charles Graner Jr., the reputed father of the child she is carrying.

"From my review of the evidence, it is apparent that Pfc. England was, at the time of the offenses, the kind of person who was easily led," Arn wrote in the report. "I have little doubt that her conduct was heavily influenced by her personal relationship with Cpl. Graner, a forceful, dominant, self-centered individual at least 12 years her senior."

Democrats Accused Of Ripping Bush Signs

The Parlocks went to Mr. Edwards' airport rally yesterday "to support the president," Mr. Parlock said, and brought nine Bush-Cheney signs with them.

...as the North Carolina Democrat prepared to leave, Mr. Parlock said, "I took out a few Bush-Cheney signs, gave one to Alex, and Sophia and I held up one jointly."

Immediately, he said, the family was set upon by supporters of Mr. Edwards and Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry -- "mostly the painters union guys..." Soon, "old women and college students joined in the fracas..."

Lovelorn Frogs Hop Into The Gene Pool

Spanish zoologists have discovered that male frogs who are losers in love get their revenge by spreading their sperm over eggs that have been left by a pair of romancing amphibians....

After a frantic froggy coupling, the couple would then separate, leaving the eggs to develop into tadpoles and then into frogs.

But observations made from the undergrowth surrounding a Pyrenean pond by University of Vigo frog-watcher David Vieities and colleagues show that, once the blissful pair are out of sight, a pirate often moves in, shedding his own sperm over the egg clutch.

Schwarzenegger Outlaws Sex With Corpses

Having sex with corpses is now officially illegal in California after Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill barring necrophilia, a spokeswoman says.

'60 Minutes' Documents On Bush Might Be Fake

The news program... produced a series of memos that claim Bush refused to follow an order to undertake a medical examination.... But the experts interviewed by CNSNews.com homed in on several aspects of a May 4, 1972, memo, which was part of the "60 Minutes" segment and was posted on the CBS News website Thursday.

• "It was highly out of the ordinary for an organization, even the Air Force, to have proportional-spaced fonts for someone to work with," said Allan Haley, director of words and letters at Agfa Monotype in Wilmington, Mass. "I'm suspect in that I did work for the U.S. Army as late as the late 1980s and early 1990s and the Army was still using [fixed-pitch typeface] Courier."
• ...the use of the superscript "th" in one document -- "111th F.I.S" -- gave each expert pause. They said that is an automatic feature found in current versions of Microsoft Word, and it's not something that was even possible more than 30 years ago.... "It is a very surprising thing to see a letter with that date [May 4, 1972] on it," and featuring such typography...
• "Let's assume for a minute that it's authentic," Showker said. "But would they not have used some form of letterhead? Or has this letterhead been intentionally cut off? Notice how close to the top of the page it is."

Father Allegedly Attempts Son's Circumcision After Bible Reading

[Vancouver, WA] A father who allegedly tried to circumcise his 8-year-old son in the bathroom after reading selections from the Bible has been charged with first-degree assault of a child....

According to a probable-cause affidavit, Baxter told sheriff's deputies he tried to circumcise his son with a knife Friday after reading Genesis 17 and Exodus 4... He became concerned and called 911 when the boy appeared to be losing too much blood.

Bush: OB-GYNs Kept From 'Practicing Their Love'

At a rally of cheering supporters in Poplar Bluff, Missouri, Bush made his usual pitch for limiting "frivolous lawsuits..."

But then he added, "We've got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

Conservative radio kingpin Rush Limbaugh, 53, who announced his separation from his third wife, Marta, in early June, is dating CNN anchor Daryn Kagan, 41, a spokesman for Limbaugh has confirmed to us....

The coupling came as a surprise to some friends who consider the Atlanta-based Kagan part of the liberal media axis and a feminist...